THE DONKEY VOTE

Well there are certainly alot of things going on in the world.

The Japs have made an anti aussie youtube film.

 I’m too poverty to be able to watch it cause I have dial up.

I can see an international youtube video war happening. I think Australia will win, because let’s face it, we are funnier. Have you ever seen or heard about a sophisicated Japanese live action comedy series? Animated penquins and yellow rats and scantily glad tweens all round for their idiot boxes.

Unfortuntely I wont be able to participate in or incite the online propaganda war as I have dial up….. It’s no fair Shell.

But I have already discussed with Sheldon that they should remake Star Trek: The Voyage Home and instead of having Kirk and Spock and the Enterprise crew stealing a couple humpbacks. They should use their Klingon Bird of Prey to fire disrupters and torpedos at the Japanese whaling fleet.

I mean serious, they are just absolute low lives for slaughtering whales. It’s sickening.

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With the Rudd government reviewing all of Howard’s funding packages. I have to wonder what is the status of the funding for the RL Hall of Fame and funds for the Centenary and World Cup.

Surely Kevin Rudd can’t cross that out. Labor are the workers party and rugby league is the working class game. It would piss of millions of rugby league fans if that didn’t come through.

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Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Birthday Jesus!

I don’t expect anything tomorrow because I sold out all my birthdays and Christmas’ for the next 27 years to get Kevin Rudd into Government!

Have a great one everyone and remember what the day is all about.

I’m watching Ernest Saves Christmas….. this guy has such an incredible range.

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Look I’ve been trying to post!

My crap shit internet bullshit dial up connection jsut wont load the page properly.

It’s enough to make me snap, but luckily my only victims have been a keyboard I snapped in half and a huge dent I punched in the wall.

But then I just remember that we won the election and it makes me feel better.

I got it all on DVD. Maybe I should upload it to the internet if someone else already hasn’t when I get broadband.

I’ve re-watched it twice already.

But the election is over and that is no excuse to forget about politics. No Elections are great, like a State of Origin, a Test Match or the Final Series but that is no reason to not watch the regular season.

And the Rudd team has been busy. Kevin has been to the Bali Climate conference which looks like it has been a success with a last minute agreement to make an agreement to agree at some point in the future.

Kevin then visited East Timor or how he calls it Timor Estay, which is probably what they call it there. Poor old Timor Estay, hopefully we stop ripping them off!

Then we sent out Defence Minister to Scotland for a conference of Defence Ministers where they compare the size of each others weapons…. er….

Which he was hard at putting out a blanket spray of calling other nations not pulling their weight in Afghanistan pussies. And he is right, why should we send more troops when other nations will only pull them out?

But all is not well in Ruddy Australia, as the Chinese like to refer to us as. Haha…I love racial based humour.

We have certain situations that the Rudd Government has to intervene into.

- The possibility of an AwFuL team on the Gold Coast.

- MMM cancelling Tony Martin’s “GET THIS”, which I think is a national outrage of bigger proportions than WorkChoices.

- Star Trek being raped Lucas style in an attempt to re-image the original episodes. Which I think takes away one of its most charming elements, it’s dodgy production values.

- Domino’s and Pizza Hut reducing the size of their pizzas!

- My internet connection getting slower! Once again proving the theory that there is infinite smallness.

This isn’t on! I voted Labor, we won. Why is bad shit still happening?! Not in Ruddy Australia!

Some cool things are happening, like Rudd saying he might use Australian assets to gather intelligence on the Japs whaling. Which in my mind means two things, we are gonna go sick our navy and airforce onto them or Jennifer Hawkins is going to be an under cover Gaysha.

Join me tomorrow when I will contine to say a heap of things I will later regret!

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I’d never vote for you Peter and I think you are a prick. But you were hell funny and a potent politican.

The Liberal Party is a complete joke. I was surprised that Nelson got up in the leadership over Turnbull. I think Turnbull who immediately went out and said how he would support all these very un Liberal and Un Howard things would have scared a few Liberals and shifted their votes. The withdrawl of Abbott would have also given Nelson….about two extra votes.

And Nelson Mr earring, Mr ex Labor Party member and Mr Ex Union Official. What is the world coming to.

They weren’t wrong, they are coming back and they have taken over everything including the Liberals.

And things are even worse in Queensland with the state Liberals still bickering over tablescraps.

Gee I really miss Captain Smirk. He completely and utterly outclasses everyone else in his party. If he can resist the millions the private sector will throw at him maybe he can will be tempted to get back into the ring because the blood hasn’t stopped flowing in the Liberals just yet.

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God damn it. I’m sick of my friggin dial up, where is this broadband revolution stopping at a station near me? I snapped a key board in half last week because my temper got the better of me.

Anyway post election, things are as intriging as ever and if you have abandoned Politic watchering much like a Tomagotchi craze you are a lighweight.

First of all, Liberal leadership. Turncoat will win it.

But do we even have an Opposition in this country anymore?

Suddenly the Liberals are Me-tooing something chronic.

Now they seem to be…

Pro-Republic
Pro-Saying Sorry
Anti-Work Choices

Next they will want to pull troops back from Iraq.

But I think on topics such as the Republic and saying sorry to the Aboriginals, two things I passioantely support, having bi-partisan support will really help the cause. It will deny the opportunity for narrow minded nationalistic xenophobic wankers to latch onto a major political force.

The only other thing more pathetic than the Liberals is the Queensland branch of the same party.

Today Kevin Rudd announces his Cabinet. I predict no big surprises. Maybe one or two casualties of which one might be Garrett. But there wont be any Crombet or Shorten, not this soon.

I tell you I am so happy with the Rudd administration so far. I’m down with Labor because of the ideology. I care about social issues greatly. And I applaud Kevin Rudd for giving his MPs work assignments to visit a public and private school in their electorates but also to visit homeless shelters and find out about turn away rates which are around 80-90%.

If Australia is such a rich and prosperous country why are there people living on the streets, why are people living in poverty even in houses and why is the average life span of an aboriginal so terribly shorter than that of the rest of the nation.

These things need to be fixed!

Well I’m off to play Super Mario Galaxy. I’ll check in again soon.

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We’re back!

Sorry I have been absent. I have been soaking it all up.

And I have been busy around Brisbane shutting down small businesses.

And hasn’t it been far too long since Labor has been running the show in the best bloody country on this entire planet!

It’s happy days! Goodbye Workchoicese! Who said fairytales don’t happen? Who said that’s life, deal with it? We stood up against these oppressive and unAustralian laws and the ALP was our champion and won for us.

Kevin Rudd is busy packing for his move to the Lodge in Canberra. And Brisbane is the new seat of power in Australia.

Kevin Rudd has met with Treasury and are ready to take control of the country.

Kevin will also pick his cabinet on Friday after a larger than usual cactus meeting on Thursday. heh…

We also have the climate change meeting in Bali next week which Prime Minister Kevin Rudd will be eagerly attending.

Congratulations to Labor and Kevin Rudd and his team for running such a superb campaign and delivering a stunning and historic victory.

On the other side of the fence things are in utter chaos.

Not only did the Coalition get nailed in the Election but it seems all but likely that John Howard will even lose his own seat of Bennelong.

Worse still, Peter Costello announced at a press conference yesterday that he will be moving to the backbench, will not seek the Liberal leadership or even deputy leadership.

Devastating. I feel sorry for Costello. He did deserve a proper tilt at the Prime Ministership but was denied by a greedy and self indulgent John Howard. Now it looks like he will never get the chance I believe he earnt.

He must be secretly pissed off extremely and very hurt and disappointed. But I wish him well with his future endeavors and I hope we will see a lot of him in parliament anyway.

Malcolm”Money Bags” Turnbull looks set to win the leadership being the only real viable leader with Downer and Nelson not really making the grade. What a turn around for Turncoatturnbull. Just a couple weeks ago everyone was saying he was going to lose his seat.

But he didn’t only keep his seat, he bloody increased his lead in Wentworth.

Then he manages to avoid the Ray Martin’s shredder and be a part of the reduced Coalition ranks in Canberra, placing him in pole position for a tilt at the Coalition leadership.

What an amazing turn around…. Damn so much can change in a few weeks, a few days.

Once again spell check makes me look smarter than I am…

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Well here we are, the last stop on this amazing election odyssey. It’s all over tonight and tomorrow is a new day either way.

I can’t say that is going to happen. Labor have won every poll this year and I expect them to win the big one. People think it will be close, I both think and hope that it isn’t going to be but will be a strong Labor win nationwide.

Being a Brisbane boy I am very interested in what will happen with the Queensland seats. It is definitely going to be the most interesting state to watch. I expect strong support for Labor, stronger than expected.

I am particularly keeping an eye on the electorates of Forde and Petrie both held by the evil Liberal Party, the party of the social climbing try hards and greedy wannabes.

Petrie is Sheldon’s seat and Forde is mine. And both are winnable for Labor but they will be tough wins. I think and hope at least one of these two will fall into Labor hands.

I’m sitting here excited but I’m cut I can only vote once. I also need to remember to buy some DVDs to tape the events on.

I have a lot riding on this. For 11 painful years I have endured the Howard government and they have done so many things to piss me off, they have moved Australia from being truly Australia in my eyes. I’m hoping the real Australia can resurrect tonight.

It’s about 4am Election morning and the net is really quiet at the moment, but in a few hours it will be buzzing. No doubt me and Sheldon will be posting heaps….well at least I will.

What will you be watching? I’m struggling to see me watching the garbage Nine and Seven are trying to serve us up tonight. Sadly everyone thinks they are a comedian now days.

Maybe we will see a Chaser stunt tonight. I can’t see them staying at home and behaving.

Above all I’m looking forward to a Rudd victory so he can abolish Work Choices, which makes my blood boil. I was so cut up, so pissed off and so nuclear when this bullshit was pushed through parliament. I was stunned that this type of bullshit, this type of annihilation of Australian values and abuse of power would happen in Australia.

Hopefully tonight all that pain reverses into glee. Reality will be like a hollywood movie for once and the good guys will save the day.

I will now provide a list of words that could be used to describe the impending Howard Election defeat.

Annihilated.

Pwned.

Basecamped and nadespammed.

Hilarious.

Jobless.

Righteous.

Wasted

Nailed.

Anyway, I had better make a prediction.

I won’t pussy foot around with gay line ball predictions.

Labor by 26. With a massive schwing in QLD of over 10%.

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Jackie Kelly obviously has an eye for comedy comparing the Liberal race hate leaflet to a Chaser style parody.

Well those observations haven’t gone unnoticed with The Chaser’s executive producer Julian Morrow offering her a job.

BrisbaneTimes: Chaser team offer Kelly a job

“Jackie will obviously be looking for a job,” Morrow said.

“One of the criticisms of The Chaser is that we don’t have any women on our team.

“Bronwyn Bishop has got the inside running, but Jackie is welcome to make an application.”

Morrow questioned whether the Liberal party “prank” had truly been in the spirit of The Chaser.

“If this was really a Chaser stunt, where were the big props, where was the Osama Bin Laden costume,” he asked.

“The only real similarity [with a Chaser gag] is that the Liberals in Lindsay got caught and may be facing charges.

“It’s a bit of a worry when the best argument you have to defend your ethical practices is that you were doing what The Chaser does.

“We are hoping this will lead to a profitable political consultancy for The Chaser in the future.”

BrisbaneTimes: Chaser team offer Kelly a job

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